Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Ballad of Bo and Sidwin

(Set to whatever country tune you think fits)

Cindarrin two, came from the south.
Bo the fighting man.
Sidwin Butterbottom the Thief.
Halfling with a sling.

Reborn from a race proud
With a love of women and wine
but walking with a fierce resolve
To right evil's wrong.

To Alden village they came
Bo charm could not melt
the chill icy winds off the lake
or the huntress wintry heart.

Sidwin found the ale
And that Old Man Holt was gone.
To the Hall they went
And listend to Brill's tale of woe.

Cindarrin two, came from the south.
Bo the fighting man.
Sidwin Butterbottom the Thief.
Halfling with a sling.

To the north they venture forth
Dry a an old lady's tears.
Along the way they find a sign
That pointed the way.

A ramshackle old building
Alone amid the wilds
Peering inside the door
A ghastly sign was seen

Halfing Hash for 5
Elf Stoo for 7
Manburger for 9
Wench Fries for 4

Cindarrin two, came from the south.
Bo the fighting man.
Sidwin Butterbottom the Thief.
Halfling with a sling.

Bo gasped in horror
"This ain't right" he said
Sidwin brows furrowed
"I am the cheapest on the menu".

Round the building to the back.
Windows three lay high on the wall
A root cellar door on the ground
Promise a passage to chambers of horror.

To the roof Sidwin was lifted and saw a kitchen
With two dwarves covered in blood. A Minotaur of the same height.
The beast was singing with a gruff.
"Yer kin git anythin' yer wants, at Ellis's restiront.."

Cindarrin two, came from the south.
Bo the fighting man.
Sidwin Butterbottom the Thief.
Halfling with a sling.

To the left was store of Grain
To the right a store of ale.
Bo knelt down and quietly opened the cellar door
"Hey! Get me down from the roof" Sidwin Whispered.

The two ventured into the darkness
Resolved to save Old Man Holt from the next meal.
By the light of an old lamp they beheld the chambers of horror
From the darkness they heard "Hey what that light?"

With no quarter given the two new dwarves were slain.
Bodies riddled with arrows from Bo's mighty bow.
Heads caved in from stones thrown by Sidwin's sling.
With the butchered body of Old Man Holt hanging. The inn will burn.

Cindarrin two, came from the south.
Bo the fighting man.
Sidwin Butterbottom the Thief.
Halfling with a sling.

With oil and grease they covered the ceiling above.
The flames of righteousness lit up the old wood.
The Cindarrin two went back around to the front.
Ready to deal out judgment of doomsday.

Out came the minotaur arrows riddled his body.
Stones flew and the minotaur screamed in pain.
Two dwarves were on the brave halfling.
The minotaur roared and charged Bo

The den of iniquity burned, it evil cleansed in fire.
Alas not all righteous deeds end in life.
Sidwan and Bo could not hold forth.
First the halfling, then down went the fighting man.

Bo the fighting man.
Sidwin Butterbottom the Thief.
Halfling with a sling.
Long we remember, the Cindarrin two

---------------------------------------------------

Egbert throws down the parchment, "What rubbish, I can't believe somebody wrote this doggerel."

"Now, now Egbert, it was written out of respect." Conner reproached.

Egbert retorted "They are Cindarrin! They should have a song worthy of a Athoven, Movar, or Tach. Not some mud village screech."

"I am going to get some rest. John take watch, Alfred make up the bed." as Egbert left the hall.

Brill leans over to the Conner. "He is really quite the ass."

Conner nods sadly in agreement.
-------------------------------------------------------
A lot of fun was had. You can read  gamemaster's account here.

1 comment:

Chris C. said...

Rob, that is absolutely awesome!

It's the most entertaining thing I've read in weeks -- and that earns you 100 xp for Egbert. Seriously. Put it on your character sheet.